So I decided to go for a morning stroll down to the shops about an hour ago, to get milk. Usually, because it's winter and it's cold, I would just leave my track pants and rainbow woollen socks on, throw on my ugg-boots and be on my way, but today I felt like looking halfway presentable, so I threw on some comfy shorts and, wondering why I don't wear them more often, set off to the shops.
I pick up a three-litre milk, of course, and decide that the two for one cereal deal is just too good to pass up on, so I get two of those big awkward boxes of cereal also. I get a couple of other things and make my way to the register. As I am standing there I feel my pants get looser all of a sudden, I feel around and one of the buttons has fallen straight off. I suddenly remember why I don't wear them any more: the first button fell off about six months ago, the second about four months ago, which means the only thing keeping them around my waist was the third button, and seeing as that had just fallen off my pants were beginning to fall down. I paid for my stuff and sat down on the bench beside the counter, I have no idea why it's there but god am I thankful it is.
So I look around for something to MacGyver my pants with: a piece of string, wire, some blu-tack. Nothing. So I settle for holding all the bags in one hand and putting my other hand in my pocket and using it to hold up my pants. So there I am walking along, freaking out somewhat, but trying to look cool, calm and collected.
I passed about twenty or so people on the way home and none of them suspected my pants could have dropped to the ground at any point; they probably just thought, "hey, that's one cool cat". Well, that's my hope at least.