Friday, January 28, 2011

A Candid Interview With Djokovic

The truth? You want to know the truth? Well, where do I start...the truth is that as a player my game really isn’t as good as the other guys on the tour and after having lost to guys like Federer and Nadal so many times I realised I had enough of it. So instead of bouncing the ball maybe ten or twelve times, now I bounce it sixteen to twenty times and hope that my opponent has fallen asleep by the time I serve so that I get a free point. Might sound cheap, but you have to do what you have to do to win. 

Some people call me a smug git, and the truth is I am a smug git, but only when I’m winning. When things don’t go my way I like to scream and shout at my racquet, my shoes, my player’s box, the ball kids, anything helps. But you know, people don’t really give me enough credit I think because being a smug git all the time really takes its toll, especially when you see the fact that I am even a smugger git when I get off the court.

I like to think that I’m pretty funny, you know, I impersonate other tennis players a lot, especially the ones that are better than me like Nadal and Sharapova. But I think Nadal may have taken a bit of anger to my impersonation of him because he never let me win anymore. 

On winning, it seems like I only beat the top guys when they are sick or having an off day or maybe they feel a bit sorry for me being number three for like three years and only having one major which I pretty much win because I was the only man left who wasn’t sick, injured, or too nervous playing in first grand slam final. Last night before the match, I tease Roger about his daughter’s names and he didn’t take it as joke. He said to me, I will play at 60% of my best tonight and I will still win. I guess he needed 65%.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

2010 By The Numbers

I’ve always had a particular love for statistics and last year that love was in overdrive. As some of you know, I decided to recorded every drop of milk that I drank over a one year period (which most people looked at me strangely for when I told them about it, no idea why); also, I watched a shitload of movies and listened to a shitload of songs. So i’m going to compile all these statistics and probably a few other useless little nuggets as well. So enjoy, I guess.


Thanks to Google Latitude and my awesome phone, I know that I travelled approximately 8000 kilometres this year, and I didn’t even fly anywhere this year!

Laptop Usage

Thanks to Whatpulse I have a bunch of useless and exciting statistics about my laptop usage. I made 728568 keystrokes this year, clicked the mouse 223958 times, and moved it over 24 kilometers.


As I am a statistic fiend I record all the information about every tennis match I play. In 2010 I played a total of 89 matches; 59 singles matches and 30 doubles matches. In singles I amassed a 50-4 winning record (with 5 ties) or 93%. My best winning streak was 34 matches and lasted from March until July.


I watched exactly 400 movies. Now this is due to the fact that when i’m not at uni I have very little of what constitutes as a life, but also due to the fact that I was talking a film subject and that I’m now a film reviewer. So I suppose this outrageous number, is not entirely outrageous considering?

The best film I saw this year was Inception. The worst film was The Raven (and possibly the worst ever).


The number of songs played was 9185. My five most played artists were:

1. Tegan and Sara – 357
2. Rihanna – 326
3. Ennio Morricone – 323
4. Katy Perry – 280
5. Glee Cast – 193

Tegan and Sara, no surprise there, they always come in at number one. And Glee…I blame you Jodie. Haha.

Top 5 tracks were:

1. Don’t Stop Believin’ – 123
2. Teenage Dream – 100
3. The Ecstacy of Gold – 77
4. Bad Things – 71
5. Telephone – 71

Damn you Don’t Stop Believin’ for being so catchy. Favourite album of the year was probably Teenage Dream.


Here’s the big one. At the start of the year I set myself a rather ambitious goal of 300 litres. Now, I would like to state that our fridge started playing up about three months ago (meaning I could no longer store 3 litre bottles, only 1 litre ones, thus reducing my total drastically). The number of litres of milk I drank this year came in at 273. Which was made up of 201 litres of Dairy Farmers (my favourite), 24 litres of Coles Milk, and 48 litres of strawberry milkshakes, strawberry breakas, and the odd Pauls milks. I also collected all the dairy farmers bottles (they are currently filling up the storage room downstairs). Stay tuned for the video.

So that’s it kids. Hope y’all learned something about the importance of keeping statistics…Until next time.