Friday, September 4, 2009

Songs You Love To Hate (Or Hate To Love)

Has anyone else noticed how pretty much every song in the top 10 is totally shit, but has a catchy beat?
Songs that are shallow or have no substance whatsoever, that promote douche bag things like alcoholism, promiscuity, sexism, and being blasé about ridiculous amounts of money. Case in point;

- Sexy Bitch; or anything else by Akon for that matter. Aren’t Sexy Bitch, Smack That and Shake That essentially the same fucking song? Akon’s songs, like most rappers are always about the same shit; money, hoes, and often excessive amounts of alcohol. Way to set a good example for the kids Douche Bag!

- Good Girls Go Bad. No not even Leighton Meester could save this one. And what’s with the setting. ‘Yeah, we’re a bunch of teenage sluts who just want to go out and get drunk and make out with random guys, where’s the best place to do that?’
… An Abattoir?! Sorry, sorry; a nightclub beneath an abattoir. Because that make so much more sense.

- Poker Face; or anything else by Lady Gaga. P-p-p-poker face, f-f-f-fuck her face. None of her songs have any substance, they’re all about the same things; getting drunk and being promiscuous. Oh and wearing ridiculous and outlandish outfits.
And we all know that Lady Gaga is actually a man, i think she would have a lot more respect, if she just came out with it. A transvestite pop star. Then she’d actually be doing something different, rather than senselessly slutty herself around like so many before her.

- Right Round; I actually do love this song, but seriously Flo Rida? Here’s how a pitch would have gone;

Flo Rida: Yo Homie, i’m thinkin ‘bout doin’ a song about getting head. Cuz that’s all me does 24/7, gang-STAH!

Agent: Um. Well you did have a big hit with the rob a bank song. Tell me more.

Flo Rida: Well, the beat will be a cheap rip off of some popular 80’s song; i’m thinkin’ Sweet dreams or You spin me right round
Agent: Sold!

- I Kissed A Girl; shamelessly using the “lesbian” image to sell  songs. That’s low. At least Tatu looked like lesbians.
That’s just to list a few. Also, who else is sick of hearing Tainted Love being recycled over and over again!? I mean it’s a good song but seriously. There’s been stacks of covers, but recently, Rihanna sampled it on S.O.S (which i thought was used effectively), but then there were a swath of other songs which didn’t use it so well. The latest is Sexy Bitch.

Most of these songs are just shameless rip-offs of Tainted Love with different lyrics, they would claim otherwise of course, but we all know they’re full of shit. It’s kind of like how Vanilla Ice said that he didn’t rip off Under Pressure when he totally fucking did. And how Destiny’s Child recycled the opening riff from Stevie Nick’s Edge of Seventeen and said, ‘Ohhhh look at us, we’re Bootylicious.’
Anyway. That’s just hip hop and pop music for you. It’s been happening for a long time, and it’s never going to stop; it’s just like fashion, we are doomed to keep repeating the same fashion trends over and over again, until someone finally has the guts to go against what will assure them a house in the Hamptons and say, ‘Let’s do something new.’
But then again, people are scared of what’s new; they just want to see, hear, and wear the same thing they have done a thousand times before. But a tiny little bit different.


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