A testament to human nature, perseverance...and stubbornness.

So, at Wimbledon last night there was a match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut which has been running for exactly 10 hours. It is tied up at 59-59 in the fifth set and will continue for a third day tonight. It really is one of the most fascinating things i've ever seen. I stayed up until 5.30 in the morning just to witness
it first-hand. It really is a testament to human nature, perseverance, belief. Niether man wants to lose, but unfortunately, sooner or later there will be one, but they will both be regarded as heroes. Anyway, whilst watching it, a bunch of funny thoughts came into my head and I thought I'd share them =]

Federer v Falla: What Really Happened

The Last Few Months: Told Through Numerous Weird And Wonderful Images

So I haven't posted in ages. It really annoys me that I haven't. I feel like i've let myself down in someway, and worse still, I feel like I've let down three three people who actually read my blog. Sorry guys. Anyway, here's a bunch of pictures I've taken on my phone over the last few months, with stories attached. Wooo!

This first one was taken walking from uni to my bus stop and when I read it I had plenty of lols, so I thought it only fitting that I share.

Coles Chermside. I lolled so hard. I mean  who is going to buy tampons and burritos in the same shop?!

Cash Converters in the valley. The fact that there were 20 Xbox's is humorous enough, however, the fact that there were only two Playstations speaks volumes. I'm not going to go on a fanboy rant. Because everyone knows Playstations are better.

Op Shop In Alderley. Superman and Batman Shampoo: for when you want the job done properly.

Alderley train station. A bin to deposit your transport surveys. Shows just how much Translink cares about your opinions =P

Bianca and I were in Southbank and she had just gotten a call. So I stood around waiting a what do I find in a nearby bush? A spoon. Fuck yeah! Someone must have been eating some late-night yoghurt and forgot their spoon or something.

Powerhouse Toilets.

Powerhouse Toilets. Now this one you can't really read, because it's been engraved with a knife. It says "Kill America" and then someone has replied underneath it saying "why bother, they'll kill themselves".

K Mart Chermside. This one is just super creepy and has a funny story attached. One day recently I felt my phone vibrate and I was like oh, *takes it out of my pocket and looks at the screen* and there was this fucking baby's face and I was like WHAT THE FUCK, because I couldn't for the life of me remember taking it. So I'm looking around because I thought someone might of blue-toothed it to me and then I remembered. lol. It's like when you think you've lost your wallet...but infinitely creepier.

Uni. I couldn't stop laughing at this. A Mac with a Microsoft mouse. Haha, someone has a sense of humour.

Uni. There's this big plasma which you can text (or twitter) in suggestions for the new Creative Industries precinct. And for the third time I have said a cinema. Lol. There are some really funny ones sometimes, like "beer fountains" and :free cake stalls". So that's all for now. I'll check back in soon guys. Hope you had a good lol.

The Fixer

A couple of days ago I received a letter from Origin (a power company, for those of you playing at home [no, I have no idea what that even means]). We had just paid our electricity bill so I was confused, and maybe a little scared that they were going to make us pay money for some unknown service. I opened the letter and to my great surprise it was the very opposite: they wanted to give me money. Twenty-nine dollars and fifty-seven cents to be exact.

Now, my first thought was, 'Yay, Money.' And the second one was, 'Hey what the hell is up with all of these asterisks?' The cheque had the commonly recognised UNITS, TENS, HUNDREDS etc, but kept going up into the hundreds of millions. Personally I thought it was hilarious, if not a little irresponsible of them. Why, whatever would happen if the cheque fell into the wrong hands? Hands trained in the art of Photoshop? Well, I'll show you exactly what happened.

I've been debating whether or not to go down to the Post Office and cash it. Although I highly doubt they keep that much money on the premises. Oh! And there's the fact that's probably highly illegal and I'd probably get arrested or some bullshit. That's the kind of shit that happens to me: I get done for something like jaywalking, and some guy walking right beside me - with an stolen iPod full of illegally downloaded songs, who has just robbed a bank and thrown a gum wrapper on the ground - walks free.
So there's the downside of trying to cash the cheque, now here's the upside. If it doesn't work, I can just claim it's April Fools day. I wonder whether that would hold up in court? Sounds rock-solid to me.
If that didn't go down well I'd ask what the point of having all those columns if nobody uses them? Personally, I think that's a very good logical argument.
And if both of those things failed me I could always claim that Satan made me do it, and promise to repent at my local church.

Anyway, that's all for now, I have to go...
I have a cheque to cash.

Dreams

Wow. It’s been a LONG time since I’ve made an entry. I feel really slack. I’ve had a bunch of different ideas, but I guess I’ve just been too lazy to get off my butt and write them. Until now.

I just had one of, if not the weirdest dream I’ve ever had. There are always many fragments to one’s dreams, but this is the one that remained the most vivid.

For some reason Mariah and I were in America. Not only that, but we
were staying on the top floor of the Empire State building (for some reason it had a residential sector). We just chilled most of the time until something super weird happened.
Mariah got a 1 Kilo box of Cornflakes (I don’t know where from, probably Walmart) and thought it would be funny to throw it off. So she did and for some reason we could hear it hit the ground. People swore up at the building and she laughed. She ended up doing it again (it's not clear to me whether it was the same packet or a new one, and if it was a new one, why the hell did she need 2 Kilos of Cornflakes???). This time after she threw it off, the police arrived and later that day we saw on the TV that someone had died from it. I was horrified and she was like, "Yeah I kinda regret doing that now."
"Kind of regret it?!" I said shocked.
"Yeah,” She replied.

And that’s all I remember. Now here’s a little digression, but I guarantee it totally has to do with the topic at hand unlike usual. Yesterday we went to the Op-Shop and I picked up a bunch of books including an Encyclopedia of Dreams (hey, it’s was $6 and looked comprehensive, don’t judge me!).

So, armed with my Encyclopedia O’ Dreams I was determined to find out what it all meant. I lucked out on the Cornflakes front, all I could find was Corn: To dream of husking pied ears of corn means you will enjoy varied success and pleasure. What the fuck right? But wait, there’s more: To see others gathering corn, foretells that you will rejoice in the prosperity of friends or relatives. Unfortunately it didn’t say nothing about gathering the corn, boxing it in a 1 Kilo box and throwing it off the top of the Empire State building…although it obviously should.
Adamant not to give up I kept looking. There was no entry for Cereal and the one for Breakfast was highly ambiguous (I began to compare reading dreams to reading horoscopes), so I moved on to the Empire State building. Buildings: To see large and magnificent buildings, with green lawns stretching out before them, is significant of a long life of plenty, and travels and explorations into distant countries. Right…
The definitions for Dead and Death were far too long winded and ambiguous to bother with so I stuck with murder. Murder: To see murder in your dreams foretells much sorrow arising from the misdeed of others. In a similar vein, an excerpt from the long definition of Friend: To see your friend who dresses in somber colours in flaming red, foretells that unpleasant things will transpire, causing you anxiety if not loss, and that friends will be implicated.

Okay, so my complete interpretation of Mariah (Friend) throwing a box of Cornflakes (Corn) off the Empire State building (Buildings) and killing someone (Murder) is this: My friends are going to screw me over, but not to worry because I will be rich, prosperous and travel the world. Sounds like a Hollywood movie. Thank you $6 Dream Encyclopedia for giving my life meaning again.

Got Milk?

I do. A lot of it…
But not in a weird way…
But I do always have a bit of milk in me…
Damn it, what I’m trying to say is that I drink a lot of milk. Like in summer sometimes I can go through a 3L in a day or less.

So I had this random idea of tallying all the milk that I drink for an entire year and count it up at the end. So, starting tomorrow I’ll be keeping all my receipts and noting exactly how much milk I drink for an entire year. (You can tell I have a lot of time on my hands.) Now this is where you all come in, I want everyone (yes all three of you) to place bets on how much I can drink in 2010; the most common suggestion (or the average) will be the target.
I may also collect all the bottles (and keep them in the garage) for an elaborate video at the end of the year involving the words “Milk was a bad choice.”
We (I) need your help. Contribute to the Milk Allowance now.

Other things I plan to do with milk over the summer:

1. Put a petition to Centrelink about creating a Milk Allowance. For the lactose impaired.

2 I’ve had this idea for a TV show for a while now (and if I haven’t already explained it to you in great detail, then I probably don’t like you very much), the premise is this: it’s a milkshake review show where we travel around the country (eventually the world) and review milkshakes. Initially it would be just me and Jodie, but eventually I’d like to get about four reviewers for all the different flavours. We’d give scores out of 40 (ten each for flavour, size, price, and accessibility) and make a list of where the best milkshakes are to be found. I’m still torn about the intro sequence; initially I wanted an upbeat intro set to ‘Shake It’ by Metro Station (because it’s a hilarious pun, and a cool song (until you watch the poncy video clip)), but now I’m thinking more of a ‘Reservoir Dogs’ intro where all my reviewers are in suits walking in slow motion towards the camera to an old 70s song. And text would come up introducing everyone – Ben: Strawberry Specialist, Jodie: Chocolate Specialist etc.

3. Write a spin-off of The Milkshake Review Show, and seeing as vampires seem to be big right now, I’ll capatalise on that and write a screenplay where the world is riddled with vampires, except the catch is that everyone’s blood is actually milk. So instead of blood-sucking vampires they would be milk-sucking vampires. And instead of different blood-types people have different flavoured milk. And it would be filled with bad one-liners, like when the American military come to take out the vampires they say “got milk?” and then riddle them with bullets. And the best thing about it all would be bamboozling the MPAA (the dudes that classify movies), because there’s no blood! Only milk =]
And I’d call it…wait for it…'Milk’…
What? There’s already a movie by that name? Shit! Well then "I’d call it ‘What’s Your Flavour?’ and the theme song would be ‘What’s Your Flava?’ by Craig David. (Can you tell I just made all of that up now?)

By The Numbers

Fuck me, what a day!

Yesterday, there was an epic all-day concert at the Kelvin Grove amphitheatre, and I volunteered as a photographer. Little did I know just how epic it would truly be. Let’s just say, my ass is bruised, my feet are bruised, by ears are impaired, and my eyes hurt from lack of sleep. But aside from the sensory deprivation and bruises left right and centre, it was an outstanding day. Although next time i’ll bring a water bottle, lunch, and remember to slip, slop, and slap.

If you know me, you’ll know I love numbers and statistics, so here’s the day by the numbers.

1 – Day

2 - Blocks of delicious Lindt chocolate (god bless you Woolworths…I hope no-one from Maleny heard that…)

3 - Toilet breaks (the last of which was in the complete dark, but luckily I had already been there twice and knew my way around)

4 - Sound Technicians

5 - Film & Photographic crew (none of whom as omnipresent as I)

6 - The amount of times Rob hijacked the keyboard

7 - Hours without food (thanks Jodi =])

8 – Pm. Marked 12 hours since my arrival (coincidentally, the same number of times I wished I could leave and go to sleep)

9 - Different styles of music

10 - Rows of the amphitheatre

13 - Cups of water (see #3)

14 – HOURS! (58% of an entire day)

16 - Members of Noosphere

21 – Acts (were planned; 19 actually went on)

45 - Minutes break (5.25 – 6.10)

123 – Songs*

827 - Photographs taken (of which, 10 are probably good =P)

* This is purely guesswork. But I know it was a lot, and I know it was over 100.